2025-12-07_new and old limits

reading through these short texts, going back in time by months and years, it’s astounding how often and consistently m(y) limits and m(y) inability to respect them appear. it’s no different now. i should have gotten therapy so much sooner. but oh well.

re-reading these texts and knowing-feeling where i am now makes it feel in part like i’ve learned nothing. but that’s not true. i don’t think i’ll ever be ‘free’ of conflict with limits, m(ine) or otherwise. having a comfortable and stable relationship with limits is not something i’m made for. i belong in/to the borderlands. i belong in/to the in-between. those are m(y) places. and for as long as that is the case, m(y) relations with limits will be… complicated, to say the least.

m(y) main task at this moment in time is to not dissolve. is to not burn out more than i already have, to put it bluntly. and to do that i must set new limits and return to old ones. the conflict with and transgression of other limits will come, don’t you worry about that. but once again, it is a matter of living with/in a body (i.e. a limited form) – that isn’t constantly burnt out and/or depressed and/or in a clinic – in order to have at all the possibility of critiquing, queering, destroying, becoming, co-creating: living.